Imperfection in Impressions

Let's say you knew someone older than you by about 4 years. Let's say when you first met her, she was bubbly, confident, open, humble, responsible, cute. She has everything you wished you had and could serve as an excellent role model of how to live a successful life without regret. Let's say from the moment you knew her name, you observed her to see everything she was doing right so you could take notes and perhaps, by a one in a million chance, follow in her fruitful footsteps. She spoke to adults extremely well, she made friends with any and every person she met, she was commended for her respectful, responsible ways, she lived her day not caring what anyone else thought about her...But then, she did not care about what anyone else said either. Her presence in the room was overpowering. As soon as she stepped in, she was the boss. She was the only person who mattered and all eyes and ears were automatically fixed to focus directly on her. Any attempt of resistance only strengthened her dictatorial powers. She spoke. Her words traveled at lightning speed straight through our bodies and arrived with herculean force. Every syllable rang through the air, our focus still forced towards her. Every consonant attacked our minds ceasing any train of thoughts that were forming. Every vowel pierced through our hearts crushing out any will to object, or even comment, about her opinions. The moment she left, the rest of the discussion continued, as if nothing had happened. Was I really the only one who felt the way that I did? Could anyone else hear the overbearing tone that spilled out of her mouth? Did ANYONE understand what she just did? I thought she was ideal. The perfect person to look up to. The one the adults would compare you with. The girl that you always dreamed to be. That's who I thought she was. Unfortunately, she realized what all the adults said about her. She took in all the compliments, the praise, the approval. She built a wall, high and mighty, that always stood in front of her. The words she spoke were purely to benefit her reputation. "All the things she said, all the things she said, running through my head, running through my head, running through my head." She took her strengths to the next level, her goal: to raise her reputation and reinforce her wall. She forgot about the things that mattered to anyone else and left their thoughts, emotions, feelings locked up in a small jar tucked deep beneath the foundations of her wall. She deserted me.

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It's quite a disappointment to find that first impressions sometimes may be completely opposite to a person's true characteristics. The things, so precious and so dear, lost in between the two different people within one person. Sometimes, realization leads to losses, and losses trigger emotions, and emotions cause deep thinking processes. A prominent part of this girl is her realization of her reputation, her realization, too, that she was humble about it. Humility. She lost her humility because she realized what it was doing for her. Her facade showed an innocent, beautiful girl, kind to all, and accomplished. Because she knew this, she utilized her knowledge to become a bossy (Back) itch never able to be reached. That is the story of first impressions, of reputation, of reality.