(7:11:52 PM) me: it sucks even more cause it happens at dinner and there goes my appetite
(7:12:34 PM) me: the only thing I can do to stop myself is to stuff the food down my throat so that I don't talk but when i do that I get all grossed out with myself
(7:16:07 PM) me: lol i actually ran around the house going whoo!
(7:16:28 PM) me: cause my grade went up to a B- but I guess i never told them what i had before
(7:16:51 PM) me: they seemed mildly approving
(7:17:25 PM) me: but i had to recover from my rejoicing within the second i told them cause they started asking how i got there in the first place
(7:18:06 PM) me: and then he was all when's your final? next week? I better help you study. You better manage your time. study hard.
(7:19:17 PM) me: For one thing, I have told them about my grade and I told them I would fix it. Second, they know I study hard yet they insist on saying it as if I was doing nothing all day long
(7:20:09 PM) me: Third, they know i struggle with chem and it wasn't fair for them to knock me down right when i got back on the stupid horse
(7:22:18 PM) me: yea and then I got over that after i went back to my room
(7:22:25 PM) me: then it was dinner time.
(7:23:01 PM) me: this weekend my old school had its church carnival and my mom was captain of a vietnamese food booth
(7:23:33 PM) me: it was our first year doing it and my dad worked as an "overseer" to make sure our "system" of serving was good
(7:23:45 PM) me: he asked us today what bothered us so we told him
(7:24:11 PM) me: he's sensitive so every time we said something he had to defend it wiht a response
(7:25:01 PM) me: then I told him about a couple circumstances and all he kept saying were ways i could improve not how the other person would
(7:25:26 PM) me: it made it sound like it was my fault even though i know he never inteneded it to be that way
(7:26:36 PM) me: then I said that if he needed to say something to the orderers about something, he could say it generally instead of individually because we could all hear it and didn't need to hear it twice
(7:27:44 PM) me: he said he did that because he wanted to show that an adult was in charge and because people think teenagers don't know what they're doing
(7:27:56 PM) me: that was the kick
(7:28:02 PM) me: really hard in the face
(7:28:37 PM) me: in the past, i had issues with knowing wether or not he trusted me
(7:29:06 PM) me: and in the past i had confirmed that it was just the other people around me he didn't trust
(7:29:37 PM) me: but in recent events, i know now he doesn't trust me and even if he says he does, I don't think i'll believe him
(7:30:09 PM) me: right now i'm not as upset,
(7:30:18 PM) me: but I am hurt.
The worst part is, they don't see how hard I try and I know they only mean well, but in the end, I don't have the heart to tell them that it seems to be causing more damage.
