Over the past five months, I actually really wanted to and even once needed to write something down because, of course, I would never have gotten away with it if I ever said it out loud. At times, I have gotten so angry I had to just block everything out as much as I could. Whether it was popping in headphones and blasting the music, or closing my eyes and not say a word. I am so glad that I was able to control my actions (not making contact) then I start to think what could I have done? I'm pretty sure I'll never pull one of those Hercules rages (his were extremely severe and eventually caused him to slaughter his wife and kids) but still, what happens when feelings start to overflow?
Thank God for words. I always have a lot to say, the only thing is, I don't exactly know how to say it, when it's appropriate, and sometimes it gets to the point where I have no idea what to say. Partly because it depends on who I say it to.
I often think that if someone could tap into my brain and just pull out all the thoughts, they would know exactly what I meant all the time and it would just be so much easier! Then i start thinking if I could make it possible and then my imagination takes over. Thats probably the best thing that goes on in my head. Imagination. But you know what I hate? When I start making a song, with a brilliant melody and such clever lyrics, it's never convenient to write it down and so it gets lost in the back of my mind forever until something elicits it. (elicit: to draw out)
Oh my flaws!
I am sorry for my chagrins
In losing my patience
and failing to win
I have sinned against you
and still in search
of words to produce.
I firmly intend,
with the help of any friends
to make up for these things
and to love as I should.
(and make) Amends.
Not exactly what I had in mind but i guess it'll do. Back to school once again and disliking already. dear high school, will you just hurry up please?
